|
London, Ontario |
Died:
June 17, 2002 Burlington, Ontario |
As we remember my grandmother, I'm sure we all remember different aspects of Ruby Robinson. From my childhood, I remember ... dessert at grandma's dinner table. There was never a shortage of the things I loved — chocolate cake, iced with "tastes like more" chocolate icing (the absolute BEST recipe for chocolate icing that I have ever tasted [!]), chocolate chip cookies, dream cake, chinese noodle marshmallow cookies, butter tarts.
Grandma was very strict about table manners ... and about not being greedy. That meant: be polite and don't take more than one helping of any dessert you really liked. As a young child I used to think she wasn't fair! After all — that cake was SO good! As an adult, I realized how generous she was: there was NEVER a shortage of wonderful dessert items. It was a dessert buffet (served, of course, after a delicious, nutritious, home-cooked dinner ... at which she encouraged us to clear our plates).
Ruby loved her Lord. How often she sang hymns and choruses as she did the housework, worked in the garden and in her later years (as her mind became clouded and removed from our "real" world) from her wheelchair.
Let's take some time to remember the life of Ruby Lavie Robinson ...
Early Years
Ruby joined us on October 1, 1912, in the front bedroom of a white farmhouse on Proudfoot Lane, just north of Oxford Street. Her parents, William and Mary (Higgins) Johnston had moved to this farm with their young family just 4 years earlier. Her father, William, worked as a farmer and market gardener. When Ruby joined the family, she was the youngest of 6 children — Lyle (1902), Orval (1903), Percy and Ariel (the first twins 1905) and Violet (1909). When Ruby was very young, her mother Mary lost a second set of twins shortly after their birth. Pa took the baby twins and buried them somewhere out in the vineyard (Ruby never knew where). This left Ruby as the baby of the family. I remember her talking about her early days and how the older boys would tease her ... and then shelter and take special care of her.
Ruby and her siblings went to Hutton School (SS No. 20) on Cameron Side Road (now Wonderland Road right near Oxford Street). Ruby graduated there from grade 8. The Proudfoot family lived down the road, just south of the Johnston farm. Annie Proudfoot taught Ruby how to play the piano. Ruby never had more than a few lessons, but they stuck with her all her life. I remember her playing a few hymns by memory at our piano every time she came to visit. Annie taught her well — Ruby could always read music and sing.
Her childhood years were filled with busy days on the farm and at school. Ruby, along with the other children, helped Pa in harvesting; then helped Ma and Vi (her sister) in the kitchen with canning and preserving fruits and vegetables. The family didn't have a lot of material wealth, but they always had plenty of food and love. Both the Johnston (Pa's family) and Higgins (Ma's family) families were very close — they didn't live necessarily near each other, but visited often. Ma held many dinners for the whole family — often with 20 or more people sitting down to dinner together.
Ruby was very close with her cousin Gladys Agar (one of Mary's sister's daughters). When Gladys used to visit during the summertime, they often giggled and laughed into the night — until (as Gladys put it to me in 1998) " ... they heard Uncle Will call out: 'Girls! Go to sleep now! No more noise!'" During that last visit between Ruby and Gladys in the summer of 1998, they both laughed as they remembered those fun nights. One time, both Ruby and Gladys went to visit their aunt Liz. Ruby used to laugh in later years, as she remembered they didn't have enough clothes to fill the suitcase, so they filled it up with newspaper.
Ruby used to laugh about the times she went ice skating as a young girl — she only got to wear one skate at a time. Someone else had the other skate on! There weren't enough for everyone. She wore one skate and one of the others wore the other skate.
If you drive up Wonderland Road north of Oxford Street, you can still see the row of pine trees her father planted between his two farm fields. One field now houses an apartment building on Proudfoot Lane and the other field houses a strip mall on Wonderland Road. In 1998, grandma and I visited London together and ate at the Swiss Chalet in the strip mall. From the windows, we could look out at Pa's pine trees, still growing tall and proud 90 years later.
Sometime around 1924, a big change entered the Johnston home. Ma and Pa started attending the new Pentecostal Church on Dundas Street where they both experienced the new Pentecostal revival, much different from their earlier years in the Anglican and United Churches. This change affected Ruby profoundly — she found that new life in Jesus and was baptized in both water and the Holy Spirit. I remember grandma telling us how "tobacco and playing cards left the house when she was about 12 years old".
Enter John ...
On Dominion Day, (July 1) 1927 an important event happened in the life of my family. Ruby Johnston (then 14) and her friend Leah decided to spend the day at Springbank Park in London, Ontario. On the streetcar ride out to the park, Leah began talking to a young man named Dick. Ruby ended up talking to his friend, John Robinson (then 17). The four of them spent the day together, tossing a ball around in the park and enjoying the warm summer weather. At the end of the day, John walked Ruby home from the streetcar. This was no short walk! (John had to walk to his home after he saw Ruby safely home to the farm on Proudfoot Lane. He was smitten with her.) Ruby and John returned to Springbank park almost every July 1st until 1992.
John started calling on Ruby. I remember grandma saying (with a loving smile on her face), "I wouldn't give him the time of day for the first six months. I thought I was too young to have a boyfriend." I used to ask her time and again what made her change her mind. She would smile (look over at grandpa — who was smiling back at her) and say, "I don't know. I just realized one day what a good man I had there and I changed." Her Ma and Pa thought quite highly of John, and Ruby started keeping company (officially) with John when she was 15 years old.
In her teen years, Ruby worked at the McCormick factory in London, in the "soda" room (where they baked soda crackers). She used to laugh about the fun times she had there with her friend Maudie. During those years, John left the Anglican church (where he had been a choir boy) and started attending the Pentecostal church with Ruby and her family. John also experienced the "new" Pentecostal revival for himself, dedicating his life to the Lord and being baptized in water and in the Holy Spirit.
Married
After keeping company with John for 4 years, Ruby and John were married on November 28, 1931 at the home of their minister, R. E. McAlister. Her close cousin Gladys was her maid of honour. The night before the wedding there were fun times at the Johnston farmhouse, as they prepared for the wedding day and the wedding lunch. Ruby reminisced one time, laughing as she remembered about being pulled around on an area rug by her brothers to polish the floor (supposedly). After the wedding lunch, Ruby and John left on the train for Detroit to stay at her older brother's house for their honeymoon. Her older brother, Orval and his wife Lil took the opportunity to visit Ma and Pa Johnston while the honeymooners had some time alone in Detroit.
After they returned to London, Ruby and John lived in a couple of different houses in the city of London before moving back to Proudfoot Lane — to a house right across the road from Ma and Pa Johnston. Just in time for a new addition to their family — the birth of their daughter Marilyn (my mom). Ruby had quite a difficult delivery (she and the baby almost died). Many mothers have said this, but Ruby truly experienced it. She was in Bethesda Hospital, but it didn't have the necessary equipment to help her. Her doctor carried her out to his car and drove her over to Victoria hospital, which had the equipment to help Ruby survive the labour. After this, Ruby never had more children — so she cherished her daughter (not spoiled, but cherished).
Ruby, John and Marilyn returned home to their house on Proudfoot Lane. They lived there until Marilyn was well into her high school years in 1948. During these years, Ruby worked on her lovely garden in their beautiful yard on Proudfoot Lane. She helped her Pa in the fields across the road, while Marilyn got to spend time with her precious grandma in the kitchen.
Christmas was always a big family event. By this time, with all of her brothers and sisters married and nieces and nephews arriving almost every year, Christmas was held either at Ma and Pa Johnston's or at Ruby's house across the road. Ruby, Ma and Vi worked together on their wonderful food creations — each year trying out something new! They've passed this down to their daughters, who still do it to this day.
Move into London
Ma and Pa Johnston sold the farm and moved away to Strathroy in 1945. Things were different out on Proudfoot Lane. At one time, Ruby's twin brothers both lived on the homestead. Now, with everyone moved away, it didn't have the same family grouping anymore. In September 1948, Ruby and John bought their house at 50 Forward Ave, just off Mount Pleasant Road, in the city. The next Spring, Ruby started work on her new garden. Ruby and John didn't live in too many different homes during their 63 years together, but each time they settled they nested and created a home and a garden. Life was not always easy: they faced the challenges together — dealt with the good and the bad, but they always enjoyed each other's company. Both Ruby and John had steadfast faith that God would always provide. God did.
Shortly after moving into the city, John started working at the Post Office. Ruby started working at Kresge's. They both worked hard to save up extra money to pay off their mortgage. All their married lives, Ruby and John would save up to buy something — or go in and make regular payments, usually working hard to pay off what they owed as soon as possible.
In 1954, Marilyn (now all grown up) moved to Hamilton to train as a nurse. That winter Ma and Pa Johnston (now along in years — they'd celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary at their home in Strathroy in 1951) closed up the house in Strathroy and came to live at Ruby and John's house on Forward Ave. In the spring, Ma and Pa returned to their home in Strathroy, where Pa Johnston died that August. Ma Johnston sold the Strathroy home and moved in permanently with Ruby and John.
In late spring 1959, Marilyn came home and announced she was getting married. After a busy summer of wedding preparations, Ruby and John saw their little girl married to Thomas Hernden in September of that year. Shortly after the wedding, Ruby and John celebrated: they paid off the mortgage on their house. How did they celebrate? They took Ma Johnston on trip down east, where they visited with their niece Donna and her husband Les Jobb.
Ruby becomes "Grandma"
In the early 1960s, Ruby became a grandmother when Steven (1961) and Kevin (1964) joined the family. I remember grandma coming to stay with Dad, Bonnie and I when Mom (Marilyn) went into the hospital in Hamilton to have Kevin. Just before that, I had been in the hospital. I remember coming home to find a fire truck waiting on my bed — a gift from grandma and grandpa. How exciting!
During these years, we visited regularly back and forth between London and Hamilton and later Burlington. Kevin and I used to love surprising grandma by getting out of the car a block before her house and walking up to knock at the door. We only really got away with it once, when Ruby exclaimed, "How did you boys get here?" We lied and said "We walked — and we're really tired." She loved the surprise and walked out on the porch — she couldn't wait to see her "babe" (what she always called Marilyn). Every letter she wrote to us was addressed to "Babe, Tom and the boys".
During these years there were lots of visits to family members around the London area and over to Detroit, to visit Orval, Lil and their growing family. Ruby loved writing and getting letters — and when long distance charges became cheaper on Sundays, she loved calling family members regularly to get the news!
In 1966, Ruby was faced with the challenge we all face: death. Ma passed away in January; her sister Violet passed away in the spring; and her aunt Violet passed away that August. In 1969, her brother Lyle passed away quite young as well. Family was always very important to Ruby and John. After her sister Vi passed away, Ruby was closer than ever with her niece, Donna. Ruby and John started spending more time with Lyle's wife, Jessie, taking her shopping and supporting her.
I remember in our childhood years that Ruby started a game I'll call the "money game". She believed that she should always leave some money for Marilyn whenever we visited them or they visited us. She would find some clever way to hide the money in Marilyn's purse, slip it into her hand or pocket ... or toss it into the car as we drove away (and then wave goodbye and run into the house)!! Marilyn always thought that her mother and father needed the money more than she did, so ... she would find a clever way to slip the money back into Ruby's purse, slip it into her hand or pocket .... My brother, Kevin, and I loved getting involved in this game — we always enjoyed seeing who would "win" (the "winner" was the one who got the other to keep the money). I remember more than one visit when Ruby found a new hiding place ... and Marilyn later saying, "She got me again — I even checked my purse before she left. How did she do it?" (Sometimes Ruby's little elves kept Marilyn busy while Ruby was at work.)
Ruby to the Rescue
In 1973, one day after returning from a camping trip with Marilyn's family, Ruby showed her courage. She did laundry. This was not just any normal laundry day, however. While she was working at her washer in the early afternoon, she heard a "poof" behind her. When she turned around, she found their gas furnace had exploded into flames. Ruby hurried up the steep cellar stairs to call the fire department. Then she rushed to her closet and John's closet to get some clothes and her purse. She hurried out into the back yard and left these on the steps up to her stoop for her clothes line.
When she returned to the house and started up the driveway, she noticed their new car parked in the driveway — right next to the basement window with flames shooting out. She rushed back into the burning house to get their car keys, praying "Lord, please send someone to move my car!" Ruby never learned to drive and Forward Ave was a very quiet street. When she came back out of the house, a man happened [!] to be walking right by their driveway. Ruby called to him and asked him to move their car — her house was on fire! (He did.)
What happened? The local gas company was working on some gas lines downtown. They accidentally reconnected a commercial line to a residential line. In Ruby and John's part of town, more than 40 homes burned that afternoon. Ruby was the first one to call in the fire department — and got a headline the next day in the London Free Press! Fortunately, Ruby and John previously had the basement ceiling covered with sheet rock for better insulation. The damage to the house was not major. Without that sheet rock, the house would have burned very badly and perhaps even been gutted in the 10-15 minutes before the fire department arrived.
I remember asking grandma how she felt rushing around the house while the basement was burning. She said, "I was shaking and trembling. I could hear the fire crackling beneath me." I was 12 years old at the time — and very impressed.
Ruby and John stayed with Jessie while their house was repaired. When the gas company man arrived and offered them a cheque immediately for the damage, they were quite gracious and said that he didn't need to worry about that — they could deal with that later. As John later pointed out, they ended up getting a lot more than that initial cheque!
When the gas company wanted to hire someone to come in and wash the smoke-damaged curtains, clothes and dishes, Ruby wouldn't hear of it. They paid HER to wash her own things. Oh, and they re-wired the house, provided a new furnace, redecorated the house and provide a new living room suite. Where some people might have taken advantage of a situation like this, Ruby and John worked with the gas company to repair and fix only the damage done by the fire. Their house looked nicer than ever when the redecorating was finished.
Retirement
In the late 1970s, John retired from the Post Office. Ruby and John worked on the house and yard. They traveled more, but were feeling the years. They sold their house and moved to a new apartment building ... back on Proudfoot Lane! They could walk up the street and see the house where Ruby was born ... and see the old house where they had lived for so many years (now all boarded up and empty). They became like children ... enjoying setting up a new household without the responsibility of the yard ... laughing and enjoying their years together. (They still had a garden: on the balcony in the summer and in every room in the winter.)
In 1981, Ruby and John joined together with friends and family to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. Later, a smaller family group gathered for their 60th Wedding Anniversary. By this time, most of Ruby's siblings and their spouses had passed on. A younger group gathered to celebrate their 60th (1991) and 61st (1992) wedding anniversaries. Ruby and John were getting a little lonely in that apartment on Proudfoot Lane. By this time, both houses further up the street had been torn down and replaced with apartment buildings.
John's Illness
In January 1993, John had a serious fall and broke a hip. During surgery to repair the hip, John suffered a serious stroke which left him paralyzed down his right side. For the first time in their 60-plus years together, John and Ruby were separated. While John worked hard to recover and rehabilitate, Marilyn and her husband Tom stayed with Ruby to help her through this trying time. When John suffered a second (quieter) stroke, he was not able to recover.
Marilyn's husband, Tom, had an inspiration: build an addition on to the back of their house as a "granny-flat" so that Marilyn and Tom could help to care for John. My brother Kevin designed and build a lovely, spacious wing for his grandparents. When Ruby arrived, she couldn't believe it: all of her furniture already in place. She hadn't been able to picture what her new home would look like. A few days later, John arrived in an ambulance — they were together again. I remember the first time I saw grandma walk into the room from one end and mom walk in from another end. Grandpa beamed from ear to ear. He couldn't talk very well any more, but he was so happy to be back together with his two girls.
The next 2 years were quite difficult, as Ruby, Marilyn and Tom cared for John. In January 1995, John passed away. Marilyn, Tom and Ruby traveled down east and spent their summers back up north in Elmvale, where Marilyn and Tom had a lovely trailer at TOJO's Christian Family Campground. Ruby walked up and down the tree-covered roads in the campground.
Alzheimers and Osteoporosis
Back at home, Ruby walked back and forth in her home. Her behaviour started to change from time to time. She would do and say things that were very out of character for her. We couldn't understand it — we thought that she was just missing John (which of course, she was). In the autumn of 1998, Ruby was diagnosed with Alzheimers and we now understood why her behaviour had been changing. As 1998 moved on to 1999, Ruby started wandering. She loved to go for walks up the street, but her walks began to worry us. Marilyn and Ruby started investigating nursing homes together. During one drive, as they passed Mount Nemo Christian Nursing Home, Ruby said, "I'd like to live there if I ever need to live in a nursing home."
At exactly the right moment, a bed opened up at our first choice (which was the Mount Nemo Nursing home) and Ruby moved in during the first week of November 1999. We could see the hand of God providing a safe haven for Ruby at exactly the right time. In February 2000, Ruby fell — we suspect she had a small stroke? — and was no longer able to walk. As the next 2 years passed, the osteoporosis and alzheimers took their toll on Ruby. She was usually sweet and fun — laughing and singing. The wonderful staff at the Mount Nemo Nursing home showed consistent love and devotion in their gentle care for Ruby during her 3 year stay with them. On behalf of my family, I would like to thank them for all that they did for my grandmother.
Marilyn was faithful, visiting her mother most days, even as Tom was suffering from the final effects of his struggle with Parkinson's disease. As Ruby's mind deteriorated, she lived more and more in the remote past. I remember many visits when she would ask, "Where's John?" I didn't like to remind her that he was gone, so I would answer, "He's in the next room, waiting for you." She would ask for Ma and Pa. I gave her the same answer. When Tom passed away in November 2000, Ruby never quite understood what had happened. She would ask, "Where's Tom?"
On one visit, she looked at me (I could tell that her mind was clear) and said, "Steven, Ma and Pa are dead, aren't they?" I said, "Yes." Ruby started to cry as though they had just left her, grieving for them all over again. Most of the time, Ruby was not in touch with the present — but she was in touch with the past. She often prayed, sang old hymns and choruses and quoted scripture. When she didn't like the confusion she felt from the effects of the illness, she would cry out to God for help. We marveled at the affects of alzheimers: she might not remember yesterday, but she remembered the source of her faith. Even in her last days, Marilyn would start one of the old hymns and Ruby would join in ... a little off-key, but rarely missing a word.
Last week, Ruby started her final illness. Her last few days she moved in and out of consciousness. When Marilyn and Marlene (one Gladys' daughters) arrived on Saturday to visit Ruby, she laughed with them and they sang together. On Sunday, Ruby started to decline: she was not responding to the antibiotics. The nursing staff let us know that if she didn't respond that day, there would be nothing that they could do for Ruby. Marilyn and close family members joined together to sit with Ruby throughout the afternoon and into the night. The Glad Tidings senior's pastor and his wife (Tim and Bonnie Atkins) stopped in to visit and pray with her.
On Monday morning (June 17), Ruby woke up and said, "I'm thirsty." The staff and Marilyn cared for her. Although Ruby's breathing was a little laboured, as Marilyn whispered encouragement in her ear, every time Marilyn mentioned "Jesus", Ruby's breathing would calm down. Marilyn sang to her and recited the 23rd Psalm to help bring peace to Ruby. Mom telephoned me as I was leaving to join her at the nursing home to let me know grandma was passing. I joined with Mom as we comforted and cared for Ruby as she quietly slipped away.
I am grateful for the love, devotion and faith in God that my grandmother taught me through her consistent example during her life. I'm also grateful for all those lovely dessert recipes that she (and Mom) have shared with me. (I just don't make them as often as grandma did.)
I hope that each of you will walk away today with a sense of joy that you knew Ruby Robinson. I hope that her love, faith and hospitality shared freely with each of you blessed you.
Wednesday morning, Mom had a call from Jamaica where her oldest cousin, Orval, has a Christian Mission trade school for the troubled teens from Kingston and vicinity. His remarks were, "He always watched Uncle John and Aunt Ruby in their Christian walk, especially at the old church at 555 Dundas Street where we all grew taller ... perhaps from the smell of manure from the horse stables next door."
On behalf of my mother, Marilyn, and my family, I would like to thank you for taking time out to remember and celebrate the life of Ruby Robinson.